New Look

Well, I like it better.

The background image is mine. If you like it, let me know and I'll send you a copy at whatever resolution that you want.

The Cure for the Dog Days of August

Years ago, on a particularly sultry summer evening, when thoughts of Tennessee Williams plays came to mind, the need to find an appropriate elixir that would simultaneously penetrate the steamy heat of the evening and the similarly sodden nature of my mood became apparent. A search of the cabinets disclosed that all reasonable options had long since been depleted, leaving only a bottle of cheap vodka, bought for the manufacture of pie crust (yes, a properly flaky pie crust is best prepared using vodka), and a bottle of Fresca, the presence of which was inexplicable, but fortuitous.

Both of these were immediately dispatched to the freezer, where they chilled until the vodka poured like maple syrup in November and the Fresca spontaneously turned to slush when the lid was opened and the pressure relieved. The two were titrated together in a large glass that had also spent time in the freezer until the taste of one pretty much counter-balanced the taste of the other. Since Fresca is not known for its subtlety, this resulted in a particularly potent beverage with all the nuance of a Donald Trump policy speech.

When consumed while watching heat lightning dance across the night sky, it had precisely the desired effect upon mind and body.

Later, when I described the concoction to the deeply insightful Tentakles, I lamented that it was in need of a name. He immediately and brilliantly responded by calling it a Tanya Harding, which perfectly captured the essence of the drink: trailer trash materials, dubious taste, a frigid nature, and the ability to knock the knees out from under you.

Depending upon the precise nature of the funk which is upon you, it is best enjoyed while listening to either Delta blues, Johnny Cash's American IV, V, and VI albums, or Zydeco. In the latter case, an appropriate dinner should be arranged and the experience shared. The other two are best enjoyed alone.

Sometimes in the Night

Charles Schultz understood.

More Amazon Fails

I'm not certain whether sunken WWII aircraft carriers qualify as Craft, Hobby, or Home, but any of the alternatives are a tad morbid:

At this point, I feel the need to mention that I don't build ship models and never have, either indoors or outdoors:

Vacuum sealing equipment seems to be putting the cart before the horse when it comes to hunting gear:

If you take your Tesla to Europe:

Wedding rings have been popping up for more than a month now and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I've been married for more than thirty-two years.

I certainly can't add anything to this:

Unless this is a graduate text on using analytics for Gerrymandering, I can't imagine the connection:

It may come as surprise to you, but I can't remember the last time that an Amazon recommendation was of any use to me.

Proof That Amazon is Evil Incarnate

The only further proof would be a combination package with "Bagpipes for Beginners."

Amazon's AI Has Gone Full SkyNet

I've mentioned in the past that Amazon seems to view my purchase of Andy Grove's "High Output Management" as an opportunity to clear its shelves. Here's today's suggestion:

I must have missed that chapter. I'll have to re-read it now.

As further proof that Amazon has confused my list with a certain friend of mine's, I present the following:

God help the child who learns to read from James Joyce. I learned from Kurt Vonnegut and look where it got me.

Amazon has also noticed that I am trying to lose some weight and is offering encouragement based upon the principle that you can never be too rich or too slim:

It has recognized that my home office is near the kitchen, so it's made a useful suggestion:

If you don't immediately recognize it, it's a sliding spice rack for a kitchen cabinet.

Topical, if not necessarily helpful:

I suspect that was a paid placement by the American Bar Association, who was desperately trying to demonstrate that not all lawyers are vile humans.

Amazon still thinks that I'm a maritime engineer:

Although it does note that I spent a lot of time in Germany.

And finally, reason number one why Grainger has nothing to fear from Amazon when it comes to professional-grade mail order:

I was surprised to find out that USB cables are available in triple-aught gauge. They allow for the charging of your cell phone in under 100 ms.

nb: I bought a pair of 20' AWG 750 copper cables which would have been about a 7/0, if the scale went that high, back when I was in grad school. They cost $250 each back then, were an inch of copper, with another eighth-inch of insulation. They weighted in at about fifty pounds each and looked like something that you would hang a bridge from. I'd love to have about four feet of that cable now to jury-rig a power cable out of, so that I could show up in meetings and look around for someplace to plug my laptop in.

That's how you get cred in the tech world.

Some People Need More Help Than Others

So, on Amazon, I came across a box of colored pencils. They are highly rated and reasonably priced. I did notice that there were a surprising number of questions associated with them, which puzzled me. The first question was: "Are the pencils marked what color they are?" Six people answered, all saying some variation on "No, they are not."

When I look at these pencils, the question, "What color is this pencil?" doesn't come to mind. Clearly I lack imagination. I see several green pencils, a few yellows, a white, a black, etc. Perhaps if you can't tell what color the pencil is, you shouldn't be using them. I mean, if you want your leaves to be dark green, you pick up the dark green pencil. If you're looking for early spring leaves, you pick up a lighter green.

I could understand, if these were professional graphic artist tools, how someone might want the Pantone number on the pencil, although I would argue that because of variation in coloring style, it would be meaningless. It's kind of sad to think that there are people wandering this Earth who can't buy colored pencils because they are confused between which one is lilac and which is lavender.