How Do You Say, "Sucks to be you!" in Spanish?

Ah, futbol. A game of inches. Chilean team Universidad de Concepcion beat O'Higgins, which is somehow another Chilean team. In stoppage time at the end of the game, down 2-1, O'Higgins' keeper clears the ball down the field, hoping for one shot at the tying score.

It did not work out as planned.

Tradition

I think that most sporting traditions are over-hyped. You hear all the time about how the rivalry between team X and team Y is one of the greatest in sports and then the teams switch conferences and it's no longer so important. Alternately, one team could go into the tank for a decade, which puts a damper on the enthusiasm. Finally, (and let's face it) sports is a business and business does what business must.

One of the few sporting traditions that I truly support is the Army-Navy football game. This isn't because of the great players or the quality of play; for the most part neither school attracts the best players and neither is likely to challenge for whatever passes as the national championship. Nor is it because of the importance of the game; nothing of any real meaning will be decided on the field.

Instead, it is a great tradition precisely because it is a trivial event. When the United States is at war, many of the young men on the field will face opponents for whom the stakes are literally life and death very soon. They will have the opportunity to make critical decisions that could alter the fate of nations and they will be commanding dozens and then hundreds of other young men and women. But for one day each winter, all of this lies far ahead of them and all that matters for the hundred or so men on each team and the few thousand of their fellows in the stands is winning a football game.

How could any sporting event have a greater tradition than that?

Stop the Presses!

Much to my amazement (and that of most of the rest of the world), not all American Olympic athletes are slimy, self-centered buffoons with the social graces of an enraged hippotamus and the myopic world view of the current occupant of the White House. Apparently, speedskater Joey Cheek actually spent his post-victory press conference talking about things other than himself and his sport. He also donated his winnings for the games (a $50,000 bonus for a gold medal and $25,000 for a silver, from the US Olympic Committee) to an organization called "Right to Play" that benefits third-world children.

This story in Sports Illustrated describes how he also encouraged corporate sponsors of the games to match his donation, raising a cool half-million dollars.

Of course, such selflessness won't go unnoticed in America. When the New York Times asked one of the principals of a large New York marketing firm about Cheek's potential as an advertising spokesman, he replied, "Has he won anything yet?"

The Decline of Ancient Civilization

The 2006 Winter Olympic Games have apparently ended. I confess to having not watched any of it and to having read preciously little as well. My wife and ten-year-old daughter watched about fifteen minutes of ice skating early on and then abandoned it. They did watch every minute of "Dancing with the Stars" for the last three weeks, though. I predict that the next round of bidding for television rights is going to be postponed once or twice before a "new paradigm" of broadcasting is announced, with the television rights going for a fraction of the current rates and one or more companies picking up iPod and other digital media rights.

When It's Not Your Year

NASCAR's truck division ran the GM FlexFuel 250 at Daytona, NASCAR's hallowed ground, yesterday. GM must have shelled out a healthy seven-digits to get the race sponsorship, which celebrates their line of pickups and SUVs, all of which can run on either gasoline or E85 (a mixture of 85% ethanol, 14% gasoline, and 1% highly enriched uranium).

Unfortunately for the sponsor, the fastest Chevrolet truck finished in twelfth place, behind two Dodges, four Fords, and five Toyotas. In fact, only three of the top twenty places were held by Chevys, although the back of the pack was well stocked. Even considering the knuckleheads of the NASCAR nation this sort of performance can't be good for sales.

Vandalism

The University of Idaho's football coach, Nick Holt, resigned last Sunday to take a position as an assistant coach for the St. Louis Rams. The Idaho Statesman quotes Holt as saying, "I feel good about it. It's bittersweet to leave this place, especially when I know it's headed in the right direction. I know we can be good now."

It's not hard to see why he feels good about it. Idaho was 5-18 under his coaching.

The school seems pretty broken up about it as well. Athletic director Rob Spear said, "We're disappointed we're losing Nick. But we're Vandals, so we're excited about a Vandal getting an opportunity at the next level." (Yes, the University of Idaho nickname is the Vandals. There are no reports as to whether any East European barbarian hordes will be suing the NCAA to get them to change it.) Holt left spud country to work for Scott Linehan, the new head coach of the Rams, who is a former Vandal quarterback and assistant coach.

But before he even set foot in the Gateway City, Holt bolted. Spurning the defensive line coaching position offered by the Rams, Holt decided to accept the role of defensive coordinator at the University of Southern California instead. The Statesman has not received a statement from Holt regarding his new position, but they quote him as saying on last Sunday that the Rams job was "an opportunity I just couldn't turn down.''

In the bitter irony department, the U of I has hired former NFL and college head coach Dennis Erickson. Erickson coached for four years at Idaho in the early eighties and ran up a 32-15 record. His overall college record is 144-57-1 over seventeen years.