02 July 2011

This Man Can't Die (1968)

Cast
  • Guy Madison
  • Lucienne Bridou
  • Rick Battaglia
  • Peter Martel
Inventory
  • A bugle
  • Trick #1
  • Trick #2††
  • One coot
  • Two codgers
  • Chorus-line fu
  • Bodice ripping
  • A saloon gunfight

Trick #1 is the old "put a stuffed blanket near the fire so that the bad guys will shoot it and give themselves away" routine. It is now officially the oldest trick in the book. It appeared in Johnny Yuma and at least one other movie already reviewed, but I don't feel like re-screening them to find out which one.

††Trick #2 is the old "let the bad guys follow my riderless horse, while I hide behind a rock" routine. This one also appeared in Apache Blood, as well as many others. It is apparently part of the villain recruiting process that only candidates that fall for one or both tricks can qualify for a position.

Summary

A bounty hunter takes a commission to find out who is running guns and whiskey into an Indian reservation. The commission is offered by the commander of the local fort, who is aiming for a promotion and who offers our hero a chance at redemption. What he is being redeemed from is, at least for now, a mystery.

We now cut to the Benson family, which consists of three brothers, one of whom has never come back from the war, although he sends the occasional parcel back home, and a pair of rather fetching sisters. While the two brothers and one sister are in town collecting the latest package, a band of brigands rides in and offs Ma and Pa, while having their way with the younger sister. One of the bandits catches a bullet and misses the departure, which leaves the siblings to decide that he is the man who cannot die, for if he recovers, he'll lead them to the other bandits.

Now, the sheriff shows up at the ranch and offers to help (the siblings hide the man who cannot die), but the elder brother waves off the help. His sister repeatedly implores him to let the sheriff help, but the elder brother brushes him off. The doctor, whom they bring blindfolded to the cave to perform surgery urges them to let the sheriff do his job, but the elder brother waves him off.

If you get the idea that the elder brother is both stubborn and thick as a brick, you're not far off the target.

The bounty hunter, we soon learn, is the eldest brother. He demonstrates his superior skills with a rifle, a horse, and in the sack, the latter by saying hello to an old friend, despite being shot in the arm.

In style, this movie falls somewhere between John Ford and Sergio Leone. That's not to say that it's in their class, but it has many of the characteristics of both the traditional and the spaghetti western. There are an impressive number of well-built sets that don't look familiar. Clearly this movie had a bigger budget than did the average pasta special.

Once again, the title appears to have wandered around a bit. While the DVD has this title, IMDB uses Long Days of Hate. The original Italian title is I lunghi giorni dell'odio which Google Translate mangles as "I hate long days." This is, by far, the best possible title for this movie, so it's a shame that the others seem to have won out.

Dialogue

"I'll have to operate. But even then, there isn't much hope."
"Then do the impossible, Doc."
"I'll need a lot of boiling water, Susie."

Story

Okay, it's not The Searchers. It's not even Fistful of Dollars. It is watchable, though. The quality of plot and writing isn't any worst than the grand old prime time dramas, like Dynasty.

Music

The theme song sounds as if it were intended for a Bond movie. The first chase scene also sounds as though it were written for a spy movie. After that, it settles down into average western fare, with just a touch of the spaghetti on the side.

Acting

Guy Madison is good looking and delivers his lines as though he means them. He made his career playing in westerns and this film, while probably not his best, was probably no where near his worst acting job. The remaining actors were, for the most part, serviceable.

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