Trinity and Sartana (1972)

Alberto Dell'Acqua (Robert Widmark)
Harry Baird

Inventory

• An old gnome playing piano
• One saloon brawl
• A top hat with a spring
• Texas Rangers
• A lot of pink long johns
• A player piano
• A slingshot
• A Gatling gun

Summary
We have our first African-American primary character, Trinity, so called because he was born in Trinidad. This begs the question, if he had been born in Barbados, would he be called Barbie? These are the kinds of deep questions that watching very low budget movies can inspire. As is so often the tradition, he starts the movie in jail, with a sheriff who sports a hipster beard and a larcenous attitude. Before long, he runs into an old friend, Sartana, who tells Trinity that he can return to Trinidad in style with his share of one last holdup, the railroad payroll.

While Santana has a knack for offending people, Trinity makes friends easily, particularly after he repeatedly gives away their stolen loot. Along the way, they run into El Tigre, a bandit who looks like Ringo Starr. Sartana's gimmick is that he is remarkably gymnastic. Trinity spends a lot of time in his happy place. After an hour and forty-one minutes of this, I was definitely thinking about my happy place, as well.

This movie was originally shot in Techniscope at 2.33:1. Judging by the amount of cutoff in the opening credits, it was scanned at 1.85:1 at some time in the past. This causes some problems at times when conversations drift off the screen.

Dialogue
"That'll be two hundred and ten dollars."
"That's a pretty extravagent price. All I've got is a hundred eighty dollars."
"Ah, no. That won't be enough. Ahhh, am I mistaken or do you have a mule?"
"Yeah, Jonathan!"
"Jonathan. Let's make it a hundred and eighty dollars plus little Jonathan. He ain't a horse, but your ass is worth something, I guess."

Story

The intention is certainly low comedy and the violence is Three Stooges, rather than Sergio Leone. The results are incoherent and uncontaminated by continuity.

Music

The music is inoffensive, which is more than can be said about many other parts of the movie.

Acting

Ralph Zucker is listed in the credits as having performed dialogue direction and lip synchronization. Whatever he was paid was a crime. For some reason, Harry Baird, who was born in British Guiana and raised in Canada and England, is dubbed by someone with an Austrian accent. There are times when he sounds a bit like Conan the Barbadian (sorry).