They Call Him Cemetery (1971)

[Meta-note: In this review, the scoring system is revised and defined. As a reminder, just as there are six bullets in a fully loaded revolver, there are a potential of six bulls-eyes that can be scored in each area of the grading.]

Gianni Garko
William Berger

Inventory

• A silver camp cup
• A dead-eye granny
• Four guys skinny dipping for no apparent reason
• A bullet-sucking baby
• A pair of knife throwing sidekicks
• Two saloon brawls
• A spinning coin

Summary
Two young dudes return home after growing up in Boston. When they stand up to the collector for a local protection racket, they bring all sorts of unpleasantness down on themselves and the rest of the locals. A gunfighter who goes by the name "Ace of Hearts" rides in on a white horse and teaches them how to defend themselves, at least until an old friend of his named "Duke" rides into town.

The title of this movie changes sides as often as do the characters. On the box, it's They Call Him Cemetery, while the DVD menu has it as They Call Him Graveyard (in the movie, they actually call him "Cemetery"). IMDB lists it as A Bullet for a Stranger. The Italian title is Gli fumavano le Colt... lo chiamavano Camposanto which translates to something like The Smoking Colt Called the Cemetery. Frankly, none of these really capture the movie. I'd go with Brothers of the Gun, which works on a couple of levels.

The movie steals Lee Marvin's closing line from The Professionals. What makes the theft even more embarrassing is that they use it as a throwaway line.

Dialogue
"On your feet, you son of a dirty whore."
"Ah, did you know her?"

Story

Please note that from this point on, I'm going to grade the "Story" and not the "Plot". Let's face it, most of these movies don't really have a plot. The question is whether the story is interesting and well told.
Music

In a spaghetti western, the music is a character. Ennio Morricone set this standard and we'll live and die by it. There are three primary pieces of music that will receive special attention: the opening, which usually becomes the theme, repeated throughout the movie; the incidental music, which sets the tone of a particular theme; and the closing credit music, which you have to listen to, if you hope to get the acting credits right.
Acting

The "Acting" score will tend to focus upon the movie's leads. The depth of the cast is pretty thin in many of these movies and it's hard to fault them for that. Considering that many of the roles are dubbed, blaming the actors seems pretty cruel. On the other hand, if necessary, the quality of the dubbing will be noted, either because it falls below the usually dismal expectations or... never mind, there is no alternative. It's either as bad as you expect or worse.