Broken Symmetry

Giving Liberals a Bad Name

2007-08-22T18:42:00.001-05:00

As a card-carrying bleeding-heart liberal , I take great personal offense at things like the comments coming out of the NAACP's Atlanta chapter. In response to Michael Vick's copping a plea of dog-fighting, R.L. White, the chapter President, is quoted in the NY Times as saying, ''At this point, you're not looking at guilt or innocence. You're thinking, 'What I better do is cut my losses and take a plea.' But if he saw this as the best thing to do at this point for his future, then I think he made the correct choice.''

So why is Mr. White rushing to defend Michael Vick? For the same reason that others in the organization said that everyone was rushing to judgment: Mr. Vick is a high-profile black man. You didn't see the NAACP standing up for Vick's homeboys, did you? Nobody knows who they are, so who cares about them? Vick gets special treatment, though.

This is exactly the wrong behavior. People in positions of authority need to be held to higher accountability, not lower. Mr. Vick was very successful through hard work (and, just like every successful person, with a bit of luck). and made a small fortune at a very young age. He had a responsibility to his team, his fans, and those who would look up to him, to not betray their trust through stupid actions. Mr. White and Vick's other supporters are also betraying those who look up to them. This isn't about race or culture; it's about young men behaving irresponsibly and engaging in cruel and despicable acts. Supporting Vick or O.J. Simpson, or Clarence Thomas simply because they are black diminishes everyone.

Michael Vick will never play another down of football for the Atlanta Falcons. This isn't racism, it's the natural consequence of making bad decisions. It is possible that he may play for another team, but whoever hires him had better anticipate protests, epithets, and signage at every game.

Black Hole in the North

2007-08-12T17:25:00.001-05:00

I'm not a climatologist and I don't play one on television, but even I can recognize what the current conditions in the Arctic mean. The area covered by sea ice is at the lowest level in recorded history and it's a month before the normal seasonal low. A look at the satellite image shows that the ice is barely connected to Asia. On the American side, the seas are only fifty to sixty percent covered. An unbelievable amount of open water exists, almost from the Bering Straits to the Pole. This open water is what represents the biggest threat. The same day in 1979 shows the ice to be almost continuous from Severnaya Zemlya to the Bering Straits in Asia and from Newfoundland to Prince Patrick Island in the Canadian North.

All reports indicate that the weather in the Arctic has been unusually cloud-free this summer. Since normal summer ice has an albedo of about 0.45 on average and deep sea water has an albedo of less than 0.1, the ice-free region is soaking up roughly nine times the energy that it has in the past. Even without knowing the hydrology of the Arctic Ocean, it's not hard to guess that the additional heat will result in more stirring of the basin and generally thinner ice this winter. This is a classic feedback loop that doesn't look promising. We may be on the verge of witnessing a climatic change greater than any ever recorded: the annual melting of the Arctic Ocean.

There has been a lot of speculation as to what this might mean for the global climate. I think that the initial fears about the end of the Gulf Stream have proven to be overblown. My guess would be that with warm, open water available, we'll see more and heavier snows early in the winter in the northern latitudes. Winters will be warmer, as the basin serves as a moderator that cuts down on the number of Arctic cold fronts coming down across Canada, the Upper Midwest, and Siberia.

We live in interesting times, my friends. Let's hope that they don't get too much more interesting.

Which Side Is The Corp of Engineers On, Anyway?

2007-08-05T21:49:00.001-05:00

Okay, the Army Corp of Engineers comes and dumps a couple of thousand rounds of ammo on your beach and then tells you that you'll have to pay to have it removed. You'd think that after Katrina, they'd be a little more concerned about their public image. Of course, this is the same Corp of Engineers that screwed up in 1993 and almost washed Iowa City, IA off the map, so anything is possible. Here's the scoop. It's an AP wire report, so I'm including it all, since they're harder than heck to find again:

Army Corps Dumps Old Bombs, Charges Town
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: August 5, 2007

Filed at 10:01 p.m. ET

SURF CITY, N.J. (AP) -- The Army Corps of Engineers, which accidentally dumped sand filled with old military ordnance on Surf City's beach, now wants the town to help pay to remove it.

Local officials are angered by the suggestion that they should help foot the bill for a federal goof that already has cost the town an unknown amount of tourism business.

''If they're talking about getting any money out of Surf City to pay for their mistakes, they can forget about it,'' Mayor Leonard T. Connors told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

Army Corps spokesman Khaalid Walls said local governments are routinely asked to help pay for projects.

''That's protocol. All our projects are cost-shared,'' Walls said.

The town had to close its beach in March after World War I-era ordnance, including fuses and other military hardware, started surfacing in sand pumped ashore during a $71 million beach replenishment project.

According to Walls, the Army Corps unwittingly took sand from an offshore site where the military had dumped explosives decades ago.

More than 1,100 explosives, each about 4 inches in diameter and 8 inches long, were removed from Surf City's beach.

Surf City reopened its beach over Memorial Day weekend with new rules: Don't use metal detectors, don't dig more than a foot into the sand, and report anything suspicious to lifeguards.

Even so, visitors since then have found about a dozen more munitions, the Army Corps says. The Army has an ordnance specialist at the beach full time to take charge of discovered explosives.

It's unlikely that one of the explosives would ever detonate, but it would be extremely dangerous if it did, said Keith Watson, the Army Corps' project manager.

The Army Corps, along with state and local officials, are considering a possible closure of the beach during the winter to clear out more ordnance.

The Army Corps might sieve the entire beach with machinery, or it might bring back the ground-penetrating metal-detection equipment used in the spring.

The federal government has gotten completely out of control. It was bad enough when they didn't care about us, but now they've actively turned to evil. I mean really, now. How can you accidently dump thousands of rounds of ammunition onto a beach? Getting the sand out of the dredge barge and onto the beach had to involve some kind of crane or bucket. And I'd be awfully surprised if they didn't run a bulldozer back and forth leveling it all out.

Freaking incredible.

What It Means to Be a Christian - Part I

2007-08-04T15:29:00.001-05:00

Rule 1: Being a Christian does not mean throwing your arms around every moron who professes Christianity while behaving badly.

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference is holding its 49th annual convention. Their president, Charles Steele, announced that as part of the celebrations for their fiftieth year, the organization would find some way to honor and recognize Michael Vick of the Atlanta Falcons. This is the same Michael Vick who is facing federal charges for running a dog fighting ring. It's the same Michael Vick who settled a lawsuit with a woman to whom he is alleged to have given herpes. Steele's comments? "We will work with anyone who opens their heart and arms to us," said Steele. How can you not love an organization like this?

What Steele and SCLC could have done, since simply keeping their mouths shut was probably not possible at a convention located in Atlanta, was to say. "We condemn the heinous crime of dog fighting. It is our sincere wish that these charges prove to be unfounded and that Michael Vick can return to his normal life." Clean and simple. You offer a measure of support, confirm that dog fighting is vile, and make no commitments that might haunt you later.

I'm Back

2007-08-04T15:03:00.001-05:00

Okay, I'm back.

I realize that no one particularly missed this blog, which has a readership best described as singular, but I'm going to dump content here anyway. Why? Two reasons:

My coworkers, including my maanger, have urged me to write a blog. Of course, I'll never direct anyone to this, as my opinions are probably not in line with those of our corporate vision.
I need to get back in the habit of writing something daily. It exercises the mind and it exorcises demons.

Please note that neither of these reasons has anything to do with any claimed value of the content. Don't expect to find any wisdom here.

Ad Rates for Blogs

2007-01-21T09:59:00.000-06:00

BlogAds, the company that puts ads onto blogs, shows the number of weekly ad impressions for each "hive". The statistics are interesting, if not educational:

The Gossip blogs hive, with 93 blogs, has the most with 66,377,180 impressions. In fact, the top three hives are all gossip/entertainment-related with Hollywood blogs (108) at 52,668,824 and TV blogs (30) at 29,774,435 (a million impressions per week per blog is not shaby).

The ranking non-entertainment hive is Gay blogs (62), at 21,851,743 (a nice demographic to target).

Next comes Liberal blogs (117) at 20,588,252. It's another three places to Conservative blogs (162) at 7,373,020. Are liberals really three times more likely to read blogs, are they merely more likely to advertise using BlogAds, or is this just another attempt by the liberal media to smear conservatives by painting them as illiterate knuckle-draggers who get their opinions shouted at them by the neolithic cretins on Fox News?

Heading further down the list, we find Economics blogs (14) at 405,459 impressions. Looking at some of the blogs in this hive, I suspect that most of the impressions are in one or two blogs. I'm going to add The Oil Drum (http://www.theoildrum.com/) to my daily reading list for a while.

Gun blogs (11) at 290,671 beat out Oregon Progressives at (13) at 228,990. These, perhaps to the surprise of no one, beat out Evangelical blogs (17) at 169,396 and Christian Moms (17) at 165,797. The Libertarians (7) come in at only 80,201.

What's even more surprising is the cost per impression:

Gay blogs are a steal at $0.17 per thousand impressions. This is a highly favorable demographic, being on average wealthier and better educated than the typical breeder. I suspect that the rates are so cheap because of companies afraid to be associated with the gay market, but if I were selling something, I know where I'd be putting my money.

The gossip and entertainment blogs follow the gays in close order on cost per impression. In this case, I tend to agree with the pricing, as the audience for these blogs are probably not as affluent.

Liberals are still on the cheap side at $1.11 per thousand. Strangely enough, Law blogs are at $1.25. I guess that lawyers don't click on ads unless they're able to bill for the time.

The conservatives just slip in above the median at $1.78 per thousand, followed by evangelicals at $2.15 and Science blogs at $2.40. Jewish blogs are $5.14, which would make for the beginnings of a great joke, if not for the fact that Christian blogs are the third most expensive at $7.42. I suspect that what makes these blogs so valuable is the fact that the readers will believe anything that they read.

And the two most expensive hives? Wine blogs at $8.53 and our friends, the Oregon Progressives at a whopping $45.10 per thousand impressions. In the interest of science, I did some more homework and found out that the Or-Pro's price is artificially inflated by a single web page that wants $9,999 for someone to become the sole sponsor.

All-in-all, very curious. As you'll note, BS remains blissfully ad-free.

06-06-06 A Beastly Tuesday

2006-06-04T20:27:00.000-05:00

According to the SF Chronicle, you can bet for or against Armageddon at BetUS.com -- "which gives Earth a better than sporting chance. At 100,000-to-1 odds, if you bet the maximum $500 that the world will survive and it does, you win half a penny."

And if the world doesn't survive, you'll never collect! What a deal!

100,000 to one? We have survived the year 666 and 6/6/1006. I'm pretty sure I could get Lloyd's to insure me against apocalypse on that day on much better terms. As long as you are going to pull odds out of the lower reaches of your digestive tract, one moreover, that you will NEVER have to make good on, why not a billion to one? Then you can get a lot of free publicity and help separate fools from their money.

OTOH, You may want to keep the odds high, but low enough to encourage larger bets. For instance, 10M:1 may get people to place larger bets than 1B:1. Depends on the psychology of greed. Still, 100k:1 seems too low to maximize profit.

Can We Have a Little Welfare for Our Friends At Boeing and Lockheed, Please

2006-05-05T19:42:00.000-05:00

I had started to write an entry entitled "Michael Griffin is a Two-Faced Rat Bastard" when the NASA adminstrator announced that he was going to gut the agencies science budget in order to keep funding that piece of decrepit shit known as the space shuttle. Unfortunately, I was unable to do so, because my monitor kept getting covered with spittle every time I sat at the keyboard to compose it.

Now that I've had a few days in which to cool off, I'd like to request that all of our readers (don't laugh, someone might be reading this) head on over to the Planetary Society and sign their petition against this budget. Then, use the links to send letters to your Congresscritters and the White House telling them what you think.

Maybe that lying sack of shit will get the message.

Houston, We Have a Problem

2006-05-04T20:06:00.000-05:00

Years before the publication of "The Bible Code", Jerry Woodfill was finding hidden meaning in the Bible. Of course, so has everyone else. What makes Woodfill's interpretation interesting is that he was a NASA engineer on the Apollo program. As you might guess, this means that he finds space exploration tidbits salted away among the parables. What makes his findings really interesting is his record for crying wolf. You see, Woodfill was no ordinary engineer - he was the Apollo 11 Warning System Engineer. It was his system that kept flashing the "1201 Program Alarm" that indicated that Neil Armstrong should abort the descent.

Woodfield waxes eloquent about the "amazing correlation" between the moon landing and a verse in the Old Testament. What is this verse? Obadiah 1:4, which reads (in the King James Version): "Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, saith the LORD."

Get it? Eagle. Stars. What more could you want?

Woodfill explains it all

Returning to the words of the Prophet Obadiah, an EAGLE would SET ITS NEST AMONG THE STARS. As the ancients looked heavenward, the Moon was said to be among the stars. Obviously, no biological creation of God, even an eagle, can achieve escape velocity of seven and a half miles per second. Additionally, eagles require oxygen which is absent in outer space. Therefore, Obadiah’s eagle must be a spaceship named Eagle. Certainly, it would not be the Soviet’s craft. The American eagle embodied all that communism opposed: free enterprise, Christianity, the independent freedoms of citizens. The Soviet’s ship would have been the BEAR, their regime’s mascot.

Creepy, eh? It gets better

There is then a valid application of the number 13 to a space mission. Does it demonstrate God’s plans and purposes as an after-the-fact element of testimony? Using 13 in a Bible sense shows forth praise for what God accomplished. This requires knowledge of thirteen’s meaning in scripture. As a frustrated college math student, I inventoried Bible stories that dealt with numbers. Thankfully, this exercise dealt with arithmetic not the advanced differential equation course I failed in my junior year. The story of Joshua’s army marching around Jericho for seven days came to mind. Turning to the account, I read: "On the seventh day, Joshua marched around Jericho SEVEN TIMES." A quick tally of Jericho orbits was once each day for six days then seven orbits on the seventh day. Six plus seven equals 13 times. And what happened? There was an explosion of sorts, the sudden destruction of massive stone fortifications. The walls crumbled in response to the Israelites’ shout. This certainly was a convincing Bible definition of thirteen as far as Apollo 13 was concerned : DESTRUCTION, COLLAPSE, perhaps, AN EXPLOSION. Even Joshua’s march around Jericho matched Apollo 13’s intended orbit around the Moon. Furthermore, the name Jericho in Hebrew means MOON.

Woodfield isn't finished, though

But most remarkable are the first words spoken from the Moon, "Houston, Tranquillity Base, the Eagle has landed." The word, Houston is derived from hus meaning spirit and ton meaning town or place of dwelling. In a spiritual sense, Armstrong unknowingly communicated to the place where the Holy Spirit dwells.

Actually, Houston (the city) is named after Sam Houston, first President of the Republic of Texas. Houston's (the person) name is Scottish and derives from the Old English spelling of Hughstown, which was a settlement south of Glasgow. Woodfill's site also discusses the Mayflower, Christopher Columbus, and the Challenger, all with the same insightful presentation.

In the end, it must be admitted that Woodfill is mostly harmless. The only people likely to take it seriously have already drunk the Kool Aid. At least he doesn't deny the Moon landings took place, he only claims that they were biblically presaged.

Water, Water, Everywhere

2006-05-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

I bet that you think that water is that H2O stuff that they taught you about back in the second grade. If you wasted too many years in institutions of "higher learning", as Tentakles and I have, you probably have all sorts of details about bond lengths and angles crammed back in the cobwebs of your head. Well, friends, John Ellis is going to prove you wrong.

Mr. Ellis has invented a machine that fixes everything that's wrong with water. "What's wrong with water?" I hear you asking alliteratively. Well, according to Ellis

ANY LAB will tell you, many other health promoting activities can't work without the ELECTRONS found in CHARGED WATER because OXYGEN levels have dropped to as low as 8%, in today's water molecules, they are SMALLER and CAN'T HOLD the additional donor ELECTRONS (from OXYGEN) needed to make them work!! As a result, VIRUSES and BACTERIA are mutating out of control... CAUSING almost ANY problem you can name!

He goes on to add

MOST VITAMINS CAN'T WORK because there aren't enough donor electrons to make them work! It's like a leaf that falls off of a tree, the nutrients are still there, but it's ELECTRICALLY DEAD...they must be reactivated by ELECTRONS! Since OUR WATER MOLECULES are LARGER (as any lab will confirm), they HOLD MORE ELECTRONS...like it was when OXYGEN was at38% and rainwater was highly charged, potentially explaining the incredible ages mentioned in the BIBLE! THAT'S WHAT OUR PRODUCT DOES, nature's way!

Fortunately for us, Ellis' machine uses

A PATENTED METHOD OF EXPANSION AND CONTRACTION OF THE WATER MOLECULES SEVERAL TIMES/MINUTE TO CONSUME OXYGEN, WHILE TAKING ON DONOR ELECTRONS!

In fact

This was recently confirmed again by a Bio-Tech firm that tested TWO of our fine-tuned machines in their labs. Most importantly, our water molecule is LARGER with the same molecular weight as an ordinary water molecule and since the electrons kill viruses, they are using the water for proprietary medical applications. They also found the angle between the hydrogen atoms is 10 degrees greater, the viscosity is different and it has a beautiful crystalline structure at ROOM TEMPERATURE that is dodecahydronal (12 planes).

Now, how much would you pay for such a marvel? Before you answer, listen to some of the Wonders (Ellis' word) that his water can do

Treat a well (one time) with only 10 gallons and it lasts for years! Also, this water will eliminate the smell in waste lagoons and septic systems (it kills only bad bacteria)! When you drink either water you won’t smell up your septic system with the horrible smell of disease!!

In all the dairy farms we treated the contaminated water contained bacteria, parasites, fungus, chemicals and viruses and it was coming straight through into the milk. Once the water was treated, the milk was no longer contaminated. This would hold true for nursing mothers as well.

In another case, a woman wanted their well treated but her husband was dragging his feet so their oldest son did it. In the process, he broke a rusty part of the well head. When the husband went to look at the well head a day or two later he found the broken area and pipe as shiny as new. He’s a believer now!

Another family was watering two horses from a large tub and it took the horses 7 days to drink all that water. After the water treatment the two horses would drink that much water in only 3 days!

Another family that raises dogs always had to deal with the green, slimy watering pans. After the treatment, the problem was gone.

Another family wanted their well treated but the husband wasn’t convinced in spite of telling him story after story until they put a 5 gallon bucket of the water out in the sun for one week, nothing happened… no green. So, he said, leave it another week… still nothing. The proof was in the bucket. After they went ahead and treated the well, the neighboring house noticed a change in their well water also. The water traveled the vein and purified their water also!

Ellis' site is filled with such heartwarming testimonials as

"After a serious accident, I was barely able to move. Now, in a short while, I am stronger than I was 20 years ago!"
M.M. Londonderry, NH

"A problem I had for 12 months stopped immediately!"
R.G. Mariposa, CA

"I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks and so did my wife. A plant that hasn't bloomed in 3 years bloomed!"
J.C. Gulf Breeze, FL

My test revealed properties so amazing, I am using it for proprietary medical use!"
Dr. G. A. Torrance, CA

"A friend in Texas said his gray from his hair is disappearing! Already, 25% of my wife's hair has turned dark and 50% of mine!"
R.H. Anoka, MN

So, friend, having heard all that, what would you pay for such a marvel? For a limited time, the LWM ELECTRON 3™ is only $1,500. That's a savings of $495 off the suggested retail price of $1,995. But, as they say, there's more: for only two hundred dollars more, you can upgrade to the LWM ELECTRON 4™, which is

Same as LWM ELECTRON 3™ but with levels 15 times higher (with CORNING™) in passing vapor through an air gap.

I can hear you saying, "But, Hephaestus. I have real water problems. If I don't get help, I'm shuffling off this mortal coil." For you, and you alone, Ellis has the LWM ELECTRON 5™. This is the BIG ONE folks. It'll set you back $2,800, but look at what it can do

Same as Electron 4™ except with twice the oxygen and electron output with two bulbs and a more powerful transformer!! 50 Years ago oxygen was much higher in the atmosphere and you rarely heard of people with cancer and diabetes etc. Today, oxygen is much lower and, as a result, it's an epidemic. This is the only product that keeps blood oxygen levels high! Also, we break down the hydrogen bonds so blood gets to the extremities.

Customer: "I went for a physical and the doctor said I was one person in a million. My blood oxygen levels are near 100%!!"
You can't develop these problems with high blood oxygen levels and these are the only products that can do that.

Diabetic: "I was already scheduled for surgery to remove my foot one week after I received your machine. That's how close I came to losing my foot...one week! If I had listened to those pure water companies I would have lost my foot!!"

Now, Ellis makes the point that his machine is covered by US Patent 4,612,090. In the interest of saving you time, I've read his patent and the fifteen claims that it makes. None of them even touch on wonderous. In fact, it's a patent for a two-vessel, self-regulating boiler.

The patent states

This invention constitutes an improvement over prior known distilling apparatus including the apparatus disclosed in applicant's prior United States patent in that it embodies a novel and improved small boiler including instantaneous heating means, a condenser and a reservoir which provides an automatic supply of water to the boiler and may function to cool the condenser. With this arrangement, the water in the reservoir, as will be shown, circulates to and from the boiler to repeatedly interrupt boiling and heat thus imparted to the water in the reservoir together with the heat at least part of which may be imparted by the condenser will heat the water in the reservoir to a temperature that will effectively boil off chemical constituents of the water and the time required for operation of the distiller in order to produce a distillate free of chemicals and undesirable odors is materially reduced.

Another object of the invention resides in the provision of novel and improved water distillation apparatus which not only avoids control means for feeding water from a reservoir to a boiler but also embodies an arrangement and organization of elements wherein all portions of both the reservoir and boiler are readily accessible for cleaning and maintenance.

A still further object of the invention resides in the provision of hot distilled and substantially odor-free water for the brewing of coffee and tea as well as for use in the preparation of other foods such as soups and the like.

A still further object of the invention resides in the provision of a novel and improved water degasification and distillation apparatus characterized by its simplicity, ease of operation and maintenance and relativly low cost.

A still further object of the invention resides in the provision of a novel and improved boiler for the distillation of water which minimizes the accumulation of foam in the boiler caused by salts, detergents and other water contaminents which can contaminate the water being distilled.

He goes on to add

Means may also be provided in association with the tank for feeding condensed distilled and degasified water into brewing apparatus for making coffee, tea or merely provide hot water for other purposes.

Strong stuff indeed! That odor free coffee water will do wonders for the diabetes. His patent 6,409,888 adds an ozone generator to the apparatus, while 5,203,970 adds a mechanical stirrer and optional oversized filter.

The sad fact is, there are probably hundreds of people who have sent Ellis a good chunk of change to get one of his coffee water distillers. Unfortunately, the Justice Department doesn't fill its halls with scientists or engineers, so Ellis and his kind are likely to continue to remain in the miracle business.

Two NFL teams in LA?

2006-05-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

Continuing my random walk through blog topics, the proposed expansion of the NFL is my next stop. As reported today by the AP:

After meeting with a group of NFL owners, Schwarzenegger said he was there to make sure "we're getting not only one NFL team to the Los Angeles area, Southern California, but to actually get two teams. That's why I came. Why limit it?"

To which I have only to add: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. NFL committee member Steve Tisch said, "Dude, that is like so not going to happen." (Well, that was the general sense of his comment.) This is all just Arnie's way of avoiding having to back either proposal. A wise political choice given that he's been riding the same approval rollercoaster as Bush.

LA may be the second largest television market in the country, but that doesn't really matter if the games are blacked out. There is a reason why the league let Rams and Raiders skip town. The Rams hung on for 24 years, the Raiders for 12. That allows me to mindlessly extrapolate: every 12 years LA gets a team that lasts half as long as the last one. So the LA Backbiters or whoever will last about 6 years before moving to a smaller market. One that actually cares more about football than getting an even tan.

Of course, the last NFL expansion team went to Houston mainly because LA couldn't sort out its competing bids. They still have LA and Anaheim with competing stadium proposals.

All I can say is sweet Minerva DON'T LET ANAHEIM GET IT. They've given us the Angels and the Mighty Ducks. I shudder to think what they would give us -- the Magnificent Sprites?

Pardon me while I dissect a joke

2006-04-25T23:49:00.000-05:00

Several blogs have linked to an email joke at the expense of Bush Cheney and Rumsfeld that is posted at Needlenose

While that is a worthy cause, I do object to the bad economics demonstrated:

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.

The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of course, then, I could throw 100 $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw the three of them out the window and make 6 billion people unbelievably happy."

My objection is that the parallelism used ("make X people very happy") is faulty. Obviously, people are less happy to get smaller windfalls. (Being struck by high velocity coinage would offset the incremental happiness, so I'll restrict my comments to aerial distribution of paper money.) From a Utilitarianism Utilitarian perspective, it is better to make 100 people very happy than one person. But in the current format of the joke, our arrogant asses could drop one dollar bills and make 1000 people very happy. Whether happiness is directly proportional to dollar amount is another question.

Anyway, by my reckoning the correct formulation for this joke is:

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.

The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody extremely happy."

The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of course, then, I could throw 100 $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people somewhat happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw the three of them out the window and make 6 billion people unbelievably happy."

Practically speaking, Bush has given vast sums to the wealthiest 1% of taxpayers in the form of tax cuts. Their logic has nothing to do with utility theory and lot to do with the fact that the wealthy can kick back a portion of the proceeds to the Republican Party. The poor and middle class will merely spend it on necessities. Ingrates.

I do appreciate the sentiment

2006-04-24T22:38:00.000-05:00

There is a vocal group out there in the blue states calling for Bush's impeachment. While I agree that Shrub, Jr. has undoubtedly committed impeachable offenses, I'm content with letting Russ Feingold's censure motion percolate slowly. There are several reasons for this: First of all is practicality. The Republicans aren't ready to turn on Bush yet, so there is no chance of hearings until / unless House changes hands. there is an added synergy that having Bush to kick around makes such a change more likely.

Alternatively, look at the current succession list and tell me who you'd like to see as President:

2 The Vice President - Richard Cheney
3 Speaker of the House - John Dennis Hastert
4 President pro tempore of the Senate - Ted Stevens
5 Secretary of State - Condoleezza Rice
6 Secretary of the Treasury - John Snow
7 Secretary of Defense - Donald H. Rumsfeld
8 Attorney General - Alberto Gonzales

Even assuming Fitzgerald takes out Cheney, that doesn't solve the problem. Spiro Agnew's resignation allowed Tricky Dick to appoint Ford under the 25th Amendment, but he had to be approved by both Houses of Congress. Do you trust Bush, Hastert and Frist to choose a VP? The rot runs too deep.

OTOH, I will say that if Bush & Rove are serious about attacking Iran then you have to use every means available to stop them and I think there will be enough public opinion against it to make impeachment more viable.

The more things fail to change....

2006-04-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

As Hephaestus alluded to I was off in the Land of the Rising Sun for the past month, then recovering from jet-lag, reverse culture shock and blunt force taxation.

Fortunately, I'm back just in time for the big news! Karl Rove officially won't be doing what he hasn't done since he was appointed Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy a year ago: Make administration policy.

There are certainly worse jobs in this world than Press Secretary to Bush the Lesser, but none of them broadcast your humiliation globally every night. It appears Fox's Tony Snow is a leading candidate for the job. I sincerely hope he gets it. It's one thing to parrot the administration talking points to a camera in a studio as an "independent" commentator and it's another to be directly under the thumb of Bush and Rove and pilloried daily by people who know you are a stooge.

On a side note it's interesting how the press is covering the disruption at the Bush-Hu welcoming ceremony. The headlines split fairly evenly in calling Wenyi Wang a "heckler" or a "protester".

AP: Mackin said she had gained access to the event with a temporary White House pass and had been cleared through all the appropriate levels of security.

Stephen Gregory, a spokesman for the Falun Gong-affiliated newspaper The Epoch Times, said she had received a press credential through the newspaper. He identified her as a doctor with a specialty in pathology, a Falun Gong practitioner based in New York.

She shouted in Chinese and in heavily accented English: "President Bush, stop him from killing" and "President Bush, stop him from persecuting the Falun Gong."

Heckling is what drunks do at comedy clubs and baseball fans do to Barry Bonds. Shouting "Laura dresses you funny" or "It's pronounced 'nuk-u-ler'" is heckling Bush. Substantive calls for changes in US-Chinese policy is a protest.

Slso, did the Chinese not get a list of attendees for their review? I have to assume that they would object to having a rep from The Falung Gong Daily in the audience. It's equally hard to imagine Bush administration would balk at disbarring a member of the media on political grounds. Most likely, it was just the Shrubites we're-a-superpower-bogged-down-in-the-Middle-East-and-you're-not attitude.

I'd much prefer Machiavellian to self-delusional.

Bad Day to Be a Creationist

2006-04-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

The discovery of a genuine "missing link" fossil on Ellesmere Island in the Canadian Arctic is a kick in the teeth for the Intelligent Design crowd. Tiktaalik roseae is one of those things that creationists have always demanded to see: a truly intermediate form that bridges a gap between one clearly defined branch of life's tree and another.

In the case of Tiktaalik, what has been found is the holy grail of evolution: a fish that has begun to develop the characteristics found in land animals. These include fins, scales, and the jaws of a piscine, along with a wrist structure, a flexible neck, and a rib cage like a tetrapods.

The discoverers reported that in addition to being in remarkably intact condition, it was just possible to make out a faint design embossed on the scales:

So, Tell Me How You Really Feel

2006-04-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

Seen on a bumper sticker: Only criminals, terrorists, and Democrats fear an armed populace.

That's Why They Call It "Running an Ad"

2006-03-29T18:24:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you have to wonder what possesses a company to run the ads that they do. Did anyone at this briefcase company really think about whether it was a good idea to put a picture of someone stealing a briefcase on their website?

Savannah on my Mind

2006-03-22T22:00:00.000-06:00

The world's first nuclear-powered merchant ship is looking for a port. The Virtual Office of Acquistion of the Maritime Administration is trying to find a home for the decommissioned N.S. Savannah. This comes about as a result of MARAD's plan to remove the reactor and piping from the vessel in order to reduce its liability as a potential target for terrorist attack.

The Savannah was launched in 1962 and spent 1965-1971 sailing the oceans for the American Export Isbrandtsen Lines under a contract from the U.S. government. While a technological and aesthectic success, it was not financially practical, and was decommisioned in 1972 to save money for the war in Vietnam. The ship was built as a passenger/cargo hybrid, with thirty staterooms, but the size of the engineering plant and the space taken up by the passenger quarters meant that it could carry less than 10,000 tons of cargo. She was built with the knowledge that it could never be profitable, but it was hoped that she would demonstrate the benefits of atomic power.

The Savannah was fast, with a maximum speed of twenty-three knots and a sustained cruising speed of more than twenty knots. She was equipped with active roll stabilization and had rolling cargo cranes instead of the common kingposts. Her reactor was surrounded by armor designed to prevent a collision from rupturing the core. This included two feet of crushing material made up of high-strength steel and redwood, and concrete reactor shielding eighteen inches thick. The reactor containment vessel had a pair of spring-loaded manholes on the bottom, which were designed to open in the event of the ship sinking. These would allow seawater in, to balance the pressure as the vessel sank, in order to prevent it from being crushed. When the pressure equalized at the bottom, the springs would drive the hatches shut, sealing the reactor.

In reality, there wasn't any way to make a nuclear ship profitable. Imagine a tramp steamer with a crew of nuclear engineers. Only two other merchant ships have ever been nuclear powered: the N.S Otto Hahn in Germany, which was launched in 1964 and which served from 1970-1979 before it was converted into a conventionally powered ship; and the "Sevmorput", an icebreaker-freighter in Russia which was launched in 1988 and is still active. The "Sevmorput" has a bit of an unfair advantage though, as it is on a highly subsidized route across the Northeast Passage. Japan built a nuclear ship, the Mutsu, which was launched in 1969. Her reactor was a technical disaster and her career consisted of four voyages in 1991 before she was decommissioned the next year. The Japan Atomic Energy Institute emphasizes the success of her 1991 cruises, but doesn't mention the twenty-two year gestation period.

It's interesting to note that the U.S. Navy has decommissioned all nine of the nuclear-powered cruisers that it built, leaving only the carriers in service. Apparently, even they couldn't make the economics work in their favor.

As an aside, the Savannah's namesake was the first steam-powered ship to cross the Atlantic, in 1819. She carried enough fuel to run her boilers for eighty-nine of the 707-hour voyage.

Apologies

2006-03-20T06:58:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of postings lately, but I'm busy packing a household into twenty thousand little boxes and Tentakles is off in far-away lands. Expect more in a day or two.

Good News. Bad News

2006-03-10T18:09:00.000-06:00

Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter successfully entered orbit around the Red Planet this afternoon. Everything seems to be nominal at this point. We'll hear more at the press conference later this evening.

On the other hand, word on the wire is that NASA is going to change out the ECO sensor in the external tank, pushing the launch of Discovery to July at the earliest. That's for the best, as the first results from the wind tunnel testing of the reconfigured tank were not good. This could change as the complete series of tests is run, but it's better not to rush at this point. With the launch moved back, there will be plenty of time to run (and re-run, if necessary) all of the tests needed to be certain about the aerodynamics.

Blackstar

2006-03-08T21:39:00.000-06:00

There is a must-read piece at Aviation Now. The folks at Aviation Week and Space Technology have decided to release what they know about an ultra-black two stage to orbit system that was developed in the 1980's to launch a small manned craft into orbit.

For 16 years, Aviation Week & Space Technology has investigated myriad sightings of a two-stage-to-orbit system that could place a small military spaceplane in orbit. Considerable evidence supports the existence of such a highly classified system, and top Pentagon officials have hinted that it's "out there," but iron-clad confirmation that meets AW&ST standards has remained elusive. Now facing the possibility that this innovative "Blackstar" system may have been shelved, we elected to share what we've learned about it with our readers, rather than let an intriguing technological breakthrough vanish into "black world" history, known to only a few insiders. U.S. intelligence agencies may have quietly mothballed a highly classified two-stage-to-orbit spaceplane system designed in the 1980s for reconnaissance, satellite-insertion and, possibly, weapons delivery. It could be a victim of shrinking federal budgets strained by war costs, or it may not have met performance or operational goals.

What's more, they claim that this system was operational in the 90's and has only recently been terminated, due to the high cost of the war in Iraq. It used a B-70-like mothership that was built out of pieces that had been purchased for the third (unbuilt) prototype of that Mach 3 bomber. The space capsule was derived from the X-20 Dynosoar (everyone has wondered why that technology hasn't been used for something).

What evidence exists for this program? I definitely recommend that you read the article.

Here We Go Again

2006-03-07T21:12:00.000-06:00

There is a report today from NASASpaceflight.com that an Engine Cut-Off (ECO) sensor in the shuttle's external tank is acting up again and that sources within Lockheed Martin and NASA have indicated that it must be changed. This involves entering the tank, which would guarantee a miss on the May launch window. NASA PR people are denying that any decisions have been made.

This is a reprise of last year's launch fiasco where an erratic ECO was giving erroneous signals. NASA issued a variance of their flight rules and flew with only three of the four ECOs operating then, under the explanation that the anomoly was intermittent. Reports from the Cape indicate that it was indeed intermittent, as it would disappear when the SIM circuit was shut off and reappear when it was turned back on. Unfortunately, the purpose of the SIM circuit is to detect failures in the ECO — signals that should only appear when the SIM is on.

Anyone with any doubts as to what NASA's internal politics are like should read Dragonfly, about the American astronauts on Mir. Managers from low-level up to the director are willing to do whatever is necessary to keep the money flowing. Astronauts know that to speak up means that they'll never fly in space, so they keep their mouths shut and hope that when their turns come, nothing will fall off or explode. It is not an environment designed to elicit clear rational thought.

Make no mistake: spaceflight is a terribly dangerous activity. People will die on the way to and from the heavens. If advances are to be made it is probably the case that people should die; for if not, we are probably not pushing the envelope hard enough. What is not necessary is that people die because of bureaucratic stupidity.

Hephaestus' First Law

2006-03-05T18:25:00.000-06:00

Any sufficiently unlikely event will immediately be siezed upon as a miracle by true believers.

I mention this because The New York Times Book Review has added a science fiction column by David Itzkoff. This event will immediately be forwarded to the Vatican as evidence of Octavia Butler's first miracle. For those of you who didn't notice, Ms. Butler died last week, far too young. The NYT did give her a decent sendoff.

Who knows what inspired the editors of the Grey Lady to rush into this move a mere sixty years or so after the beginning of science fiction's Golden Age. Still, we'll take what we can get.

Addendum: Itzkoff's list of his ten favorite science fiction books shows that he has promise. It's not my list, and I don't recognize some of the titles (I'll go look for the ones that I don't), but I can't argue with any of the selections that I do know.

Penultimate Failure

2006-03-05T12:51:00.000-06:00

Airbus recently tested the wing of their new A380 to destruction. Unfortunately, it failed a little earlier than anticipated. The test that failed is known as the Ultimate Load test. It involves mounting a wing in a jig and bending the tip up to simulate the strain that the wing might face in service. The first series of tests are to the "Limit Load" — the maximum amount that the aircraft is to carry in service. The European aviation authorities then require the wing to withstand a strain of 1.5 times the Limit Load for three seconds before failing.

The A380 wing failed between 1.45 and 1.5 times the Limit Load. Airbus will attempt to convince the authorities to approve the wing based upon models of any changes, rather than testing another actual wing. This is in accordance with standard Airbus practice. The A330 wing also failed just short of the standard. Airbus actually points to the failure with pride, pointing out how it means that there is no wasted weight spent on excessive strength, as compared with the Boeing 777 which didn't fail until 1.54 times the Limit Load.

While there is something to be said for avoiding excessive conservatism and the fact that the wing did fail at precisely the point predicted by the models, I'd prefer to fly on a plane that had been designed with the extra little bit of strength built in.

One for the Visiting Teams

2006-03-03T06:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, the heads of the Russian, Japanese, and European space agencies all met at NASA to announce the new IIS construction schedule. The transcript of the press conference is an interesting read. The European and Japanese science modules were all moved up in the assembly sequence. The Russians have agreed not to fly one of their power modules, instead taking power from an American module.

When Mike Griffin was asked whether any American modules would not be flown, he deferred the question, saying that the head of space operations would know better than he. This is disingenuous, as Griffin knows full well that the American habitation module, which would have provided living quarters for four astronauts, and the propulsion module, which would have given the station the ability to correct its own orbit have been cancelled, even though both have been built. The Centrifuge Accommodation Module, which was built by the Japanese to pay for their shuttle flights has been grounded as well. He knows all this because he was the one who cancelled all of these projects.

All-in-all, the partners sounded very pleased to have the schedule compressed and to have their components moved up in the schedule. There was much talk about the Americans leaving the ISS program after 2015 ("abandon in place" is NASA's unofficial motto) and the whole assembly schedule is based upon the shuttle launches matching their twenty-five year average of 4.56 flights per year.

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